Saturday, January 29, 2011


I am the witch,

my eyes see all

I does not sleep

but dream eternally

i am your lover,

lying 6 feet deep

calls for you

with rotted voice

I'm a little obsessed with witches, as in the image of the architypical witch woman. With flowers and herbs, wisdom, knowledge, solitary, elegant, powerful. I've dabbled in Wicca and feel it to be the closest to a religion that describes myself.

Thursday, January 27, 2011


I really want to redecorate (or decorate, since I didn't decorate it in the first place) , my room. I have this vision in my mind, I just need the pieces. When I get a job, that will be my first project.
Here are some inspirations/ideas I'd like to incorporate.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Hello Lovelies,
Fairly recently there was a bit of an uproar on the online lolita communities about the surgance of sweet lolitas. You see, sweet lolita has been very popular surpassing gothic and classic lolitas on the outfit posting sites. "But!" , you say "Why is that so peculiar? Sweet lolita has always been very popular!"
Yes my dove, but not like this. This incarnation of sweet lolita stylings are a mix of neon pastels drenched in eye-gouging tooth-decaying face-melting hyper-sugar unicorns, bunnies, and rainbows. If you can possibly imagine. For a while there we had post after post of cotton candy hair. Similar prints being worn in similar coordinates by similarly posing girls. It was a bit droll yes, but I respect anyone who holds true to their extremes. I saw that as something more novel, a temporary trend, than something i'd have to face forever. But there was also something more dangerous lurking, something more personal. The gothic lolitas were facing near extinction. There were virtually no comments when gL would post, and you could go virtually a month without seeing hide nor hair of a single black jumperskirt.
There was backlash, annonymous threats were made, people were flammed, children trappled in the streets but then..... Silence. A break in the sweet armaggedon was seen. There on the horizon, we saw the designs for the new season and they were toned down and slightly.... understated.
Well sweets withdrew and confessed they really weren't into all those bright colors anyway and a balance between the sweet tribes and the gothic tribes was held.
This lead to my renewed love of gothic styles and my desperate attempt to fill myself with as much as I could.
First off: Moi Meme Moitie. You can't say gothic lolita without thinking of this brand. Helmed by the Patron Saint of all Lolitas, Mana. This brand has clothes darker than midnight, deeper that shadows, and blacker than the hearts of men.

These two are examples of my two favorite dresses to come out fairly recently by the brand. Gorgeous aren't they? There are not all black, but its that complementary color that makes the black stand out even bolder.

This next brand is lesser known but that's a damn shame! Millefleurs/Millenoirs (which translated meansThousand Flowers/Thousand Black) is a gorgeous brand that evokes a modern day Versailles. A girl named Mary Antoinettie is the sensitive daughter of a rich tycoon, who was made to raise herself by two disinterested parents. She runs off in the middle of the night to dark mysterious clubs set underneath the Tokyo streets where this little princess meets all sorts of horrible and romantic figures. She is lost in this world, her pure heart preventing her from succumbing to the temptation of the damned but down she tumbles, night after night. Like Alice, down the rabbit hole, spending her nights out on the cold dark streets of Toyko. Er... whatever. Mf/Mn has beautifully corsetted dresses with brocade designed fabrics and princess like hems. In fact I had read some writer describe them as "Gothic Hime", I actually find this appropriate.

Now Atelier Pierrot is a a notorious brand known for its beautiful dresses and relative unattanibility (which has now changed thanks to Tokyo Rebel). If you frequent the AP site you'd notice that they are also a liscened seller of other brands (brands inside of a brand?!?!) like Moi Meme Moitie and Victorian Maiden. A one stop shop for classic and gothic lolitas. AP is the home of the coveted cage skirt and the harlequin patterned skirt. A cross some where between gothic and classic Atelier Pierrot is a brand to keep your eyes on.

What have we learned from this? Well i'd say calm down kiddies, Gothic Lolikta is here to stay and only gets better and better all the time. With the recent addition of CdJapan selling Moi Meme Moitie, TokyoRebel selling Atelier Pierrot it is getting easier and easier to fill your batcave with dark fashions. The Sweet Lolitas can live just as happily as the Goth Lolitas, live and let live lolis!


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Poems written in a semi-delirious state

"dream dress"
peeking out from lace hems
ruddy knees, knocked from growth
long legs, staked
lead to clumsy pigeon-ed be-shoed feet
hazily she saunters
over to the glass
she looks past her own reflection
from underneath bonnet-ed eyes
and clasps her hands in
at what she then beholds there
above her somewhere
near heaven
is the dress she always dreamed of
there on the headless mannequin
under glaring lamps
it gloats
dazed she leans
against the store window
and offers a prayer to it
"with your delicate layers,
your waves of unrepentant clothe
spilling out from high hips onto air
with your lace collar
and bejeweled neck
i will deliver you from your masters
from this public spectacle
and allow you and i to be one
please wait until the day
when we can sip tea and
eat cake"
closing her eyes and
lifting her prayer to god
she leans away
makes one final plead
to the dress of
her dreams.

"today i am a maiden"
alone in a room
she did not know
she came
to the realization
that she was not
the same
these clothes
where not her clothes
these things
where not her things
in a violent gesture
she flings herself to the wall
and tears
any thing unfamiliar
the posters
of smiling pop stars
the calendar of kittens
the little league
and throws them down
she looks at her
in the mirror and
"i am not myself today"
or any day
"i am a maiden"
she takes the box
she hid in the shameful
closet corner
and sits it on the dresser
high as her heart
she removes the
poofy, pink, dress
and slips it
over her
she fixes her
poofy, white, petticoat
and afixes her
white bonnet
by the time she
was done
putting on the socks
and shoes
and strands of
pearl bracelets
she was nearly
shyly, she slid
in front of the mirror
and for the first time
saw herself
for who she really was
she floated
down the stairs
grabbed her parasol
conspicuously used as
an innocent umbrella
past her
a-gasped mother
and snickering siblings
opened the door wide
and announced
"today and everyday
I, am a maiden!"
and lept out into
the burning world.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Top 10 Gruesome Fairy Tale

Top 10 Gruesome Fairy Tale Origins

Posted using ShareThis

Fairy tales of the past were often full of macabre and gruesome twists and endings. These days, companies like Disney have sanitized them for a modern audience that is clearly deemed unable to cope, and so we see happy endings everywhere. This list looks at some of the common endings we are familiar with – and explains the original gruesome origins. If you know of any others, be sure to mention it in the comments – or if you know of a fairy tale that is just outright gruesome (in its original or modern form), speak up.

The Pied Piper


In the tale of the Pied Piper, we have a village overrun with rats. A man arrives dressed in clothes of pied (a patchwork of colors) and offers to rid the town of the vermin. The villagers agree to pay a vast sum of money if the piper can do it – and he does. He plays music on his pipe which draws all the rats out of the town. When he returns for payment – the villagers won’t cough up so the Pied Piper decides to rid the town of children too! In most modern variants, the piper draws the children to a cave out of the town and when the townsfolk finally agree to pay up, he sends them back. In the darker original, the piper leads the children to a river where they all drown (except a lame boy who couldn’t keep up). Some modern scholars say that there are connotations of pedophilia in this fairy tale.

Little Red Riding Hood

411Px-Little Red Riding Hood - Project Gutenberg Etext 19993

The version of this tale that most of us are familiar with ends with Riding Hood being saved by the woodsman who kills the wicked wolf. But in fact, the original French version (by Charles Perrault) of the tale was not quite so nice. In this version, the little girl is a well bred young lady who is given false instructions by the wolf when she asks the way to her grandmothers. Foolishly riding hood takes the advice of the wolf and ends up being eaten. And here the story ends. There is no woodsman – no grandmother – just a fat wolf and a dead Red Riding Hood. The moral to this story is to not take advice from strangers.

The Little Mermaid

Little Mermaid

The 1989 version of the Little Mermaid might be better known as “The big whopper!” In the Disney version, the film ends with Ariel the mermaid being changed into a human so she can marry Eric. They marry in a wonderful wedding attended by humans and merpeople. But, in the very first version by Hans Christian Andersen, the mermaid sees the Prince marry a princess and she despairs. She is offered a knife with which to stab the prince to death, but rather than do that she jumps into the sea and dies by turning to froth. Hans Christian Andersen modified the ending slightly to make it more pleasant. In his new ending, instead of dying when turned to froth, she becomes a “daughter of the air” waiting to go to heaven – so, frankly, she is still dead for all intents and purposes.

Snow White

Snow White Tarrant

In the tale of snow white that we are all familiar with, the Queen asks a huntsman to kill her and bring her heart back as proof. Instead, the huntsman can’t bring himself to do it and returns with the heart of a boar. Now, fortunately disney hasn’t done too much damage to this tale, but they did leave out one important original element: in the original tale, the Queen actually asks for Snow White’s liver and lungs – which are to be served for dinner that night! Also in the original, Snow White wakes up when she is jostled by the prince’s horse as he carries her back to his castle – not from a magical kiss. What the prince wanted to do with a dead girl’s body I will leave to your imagination. Oh – in the Grimm version, the tale ends with the Queen being forced to dance to death in red hot iron shoes!

Sleeping Beauty


In the original sleeping beauty, the lovely princess is put to sleep when she pricks her finger on a spindle. She sleeps for one hundred years when a prince finally arrives, kisses her, and awakens her. They fall in love, marry, and (surprise surprise) live happily ever after. But alas, the original tale is not so sweet (in fact, you have to read this to believe it.) In the original, the young woman is put to sleep because of a prophesy, rather than a curse. And it isn’t the kiss of a prince which wakes her up: the king seeing her asleep, and rather fancying having a bit, rapes her. After nine months she gives birth to two children (while she is still asleep). One of the children sucks her finger which removes the piece of flax which was keeping her asleep. She wakes up to find herself raped and the mother of two kids.



This fair tale is a little different from the others because rather than sanitizing the original, it was modified by the original author to make it more gruesome. In the original tale, Rumpelstiltskin spins straw into gold for a young girl who faces death unless she is able to perform the feat. In return, he asks for her first born child. She agrees – but when the day comes to hand over the kid, she can’t do it. Rumpelstiltskin tells her that he will let her off the bargain if she can guess his name. She overhears him singing his name by a fire and so she guesses it correctly. Rumpelstiltskin, furious, runs away, never to be seen again. But in the updated version, things are a little messier. Rumpelstiltskin is so angry that he drives his right foot deep into the ground. He then grabs his left leg and rips himself in half. Needless to say this kills him.

Goldilocks and the Three Bears


In this heart warming tale, we hear of pretty little goldilocks who finds the house of the three bears. She sneaks inside and eats their food, sits in their chairs, and finally falls asleep on the bed of the littlest bear. When the bears return home they find her asleep – she awakens and escapes out the window in terror. The original tale (which actually only dates to 1837) has two possible variations. In the first, the bears find Goldilocks and rip her apart and eat her. In the second, Goldilocks is actually an old hag who (like the sanitized version) jumps out of a window when the bears wake her up. The story ends by telling us that she either broke her neck in the fall, or was arrested for vagrancy and sent to the “House of Correction”.

Hansel and Gretel

Nielsen Hansel

In the widely known version of Hansel and Gretel, we hear of two little children who become lost in the forest, eventually finding their way to a gingerbread house which belongs to a wicked witch. The children end up enslaved for a time as the witch prepares them for eating. They figure their way out and throw the witch in a fire and escape. In an earlier French version of this tale (called The Lost Children), instead of a witch we have a devil. Now the wicked old devil is tricked by the children (in much the same way as Hansel and Gretel) but he works it out and puts together a sawhorse to put one of the children on to bleed (that isn’t an error – he really does). The children pretend not to know how to get on the sawhorse so the devil’s wife demonstrates. While she is lying down the kids slash her throat and escape.

The Girl Without Hands

Girl With No Hands By H J Ford 4

Frankly, the revised version of this fairy tale is not a great deal better than the original, but there are sufficient differences to include it here. In the new version, a poor man is offered wealth by the devil if he gives him whatever is standing behind his mill. The poor man thinks it is an apple tree and agrees – but it is actually his daughter. The devil tries to take the daughter but can’t – because she is pure, so he threatens to take the father unless the daughter allows her father to chop off her hands. She agrees and the father does the deed. Now – that is not particularly nice, but it is slightly worse in some of the earlier variants in which the young girl chops off her own arms in order to make herself ugly to her brother who is trying to rape her. In another variant, the father chops off the daughter’s hands because she refuses to let him have sex with her.


Arthur Rackham Cinderella

In the modern Cinderella fairy tale we have the beautiful Cinderella swept off her feet by the prince and her wicked step sisters marrying two lords – with everyone living happily ever after. The fairy tale has its origins way back in the 1st century BC where Strabo’s heroine was actually called Rhodopis, not Cinderella. The story was very similar to the modern one with the exception of the glass slippers and pumpkin coach. But, lurking behind the pretty tale is a more sinister variation by the Grimm brothers: in this version, the nasty step-sisters cut off parts of their own feet in order to fit them into the glass slipper – hoping to fool the prince. The prince is alerted to the trickery by two pigeons who peck out the step sister’s eyes. They end up spending the rest of their lives as blind beggars while Cinderella gets to lounge about in luxury at the prince’s castle.

Contributor: JFrater

not written by myself, found

Thursday, May 7, 2009

"A lot of movies are about life, mine are like a slice of cake. "

quote above by Alfred Hitchcock

Hello Duckies,
Recently I was having a conversation with a stranger about my choice in films. I had quoted some of my favorite, most influential films and this person had the strange reaction to call me.... predictable!
How dare you! "Hoooowww daaaarrre yooooouu!" I yelled. But quickly agreed with them.
My love of movies are dark, romantic, and just the right mix of the fantastical and whimsical. These pieces of cinema have shaped my gothloli aesthetic and given me endless inspirations for my own personal style. I'm going to share with you a few of my favorites.
Firstly is of course, Tim Burton. Besides the Burton tattoos that I have, my personal image has been crafted, very carefully, by this man. His dark, yet humane, view of the world is one that I do share.

Now I do believe that Edward Scissorhands was my first true love. He was perfect, caring, attentive, a fabulous hair dresser, but with, you know, the scissors for hands thing. I cried for him, when he left suburbia to go back into his castle... This notion of romance, of longing, of fulfillment, and inadequacy left an indelible mark on me. This grotesque man, with horrifying extremities, was the one I wanted. He was more beautiful than all of the grotesque people around him. The idea of something being beautiful and yet terrifying to those who judge it from the outside is a very romantic notion to me.

Oh my. What handsome devils are these? Spawn from a most glamorous hell no doubt. When I saw this movie, my world turn upside down. The two of them, pale, be-veined faces centimeters from each other, whispered regret and mourning between each other, made my young adolescent body explode with confusion and sexual frenzy! The outfits! The hazy, haunted background of New Orleans! The blood sucking! Oh MERCY! Excuse me while I loosen my bodice!
Ah, much better, thank you. I instantly went out and read anything by Ms. Rice that i could get my sweaty little hands on. Thusly began my love of coffins, shirley temple ringlets, and pale, tall, men with a hint of depraved hunger in their eyes.
When I think of the perfect lolita, I think of little Claudia. Poor little Claudia. She was a perfect, chubby faced little cherub, with a selfish, gluttonous, angry soul. If she even had a soul at all.

Her look inspires me to this day. Not just her physical look but also her dark, lonely, needy outlook. The bonnetts, the dark jeweled satin dresses, those perfect curls and those dark, empty, loveless eyes. Oh Claudia, I hate the sun too.

So at the age of 8, I knew who I wanted to be when I grew up. I would be Morticia Addams during the day and Catwoman at night. I'm still working on this, truthfully, but in the meantime I watch The Addams Family. I have just recently discovered that this movie had nothing to do with Tim Burton or Danny Elfman, which, quite frankly, blows my mind.
I wanted to be a part of this family. I wanted to be Wednesday Addams so badly or even a deformed cousin! The Brady Bunch scared the crap out of me as a child, with their homogeneous looks, superficial concerns and plastic, complacent suburban lives. But the Addams family, now that was a real family, sticking together against adversity, embracing their "quirks" and being true to themselves in a society that alienates them to change. I admired that. I still do. That, and the fantastic lighting cast on Morticia's visage. My God! If I could have that lighting on me with that slinky serpentine walk of hers I would have the men at my feet! Well maybe the weirdy ones. Her sexy, mysterious, hyper intelligent aura gave me a vision of womanhood that I hope to one day emulate.

Now I can't leave you without mention of Mr Burton atleast once more. In my childhood, the tale of Sleepy Hollow was one that left me with cupped ears and eyes shut tight, it filled me with images of decapitation, fog covered bridges, and spooky forests as black as night. Being stalked by a man with no head was not that high on my list of things to experience. But when this movie came out, I saw the tale in a new light, a gothic fairytale if there ever was one. The costumes, the scenery, the neon blood, and Johnny Depp's cheekbones all combine to make one stunning masterpiece. The costumes in the movie, particularly those of Christina Ricci (my childhood idol, Wednesday Addams now fully grown), let me salivating. Her black and while striped Polonaise ensemble haunted my dreams as much as Christopher Walken's barracuda mouth. If you actually get a closer look at the dress, the stripes are not solid but rather thick, uneven, lines as if lovingly, pen stroked by Master Burton himself. How terribly marvelous.
Well baby chicks, I know that my taste in films are predictable but there is something to say about these, that they are such great influences. I can not deny the mark that they have made upon me! I will not deny them!
Tell me, darlings, what movies influence your style?